My life took the bullet train and left me behind.

So, yeah, I had every intention of posting on here last month but it didn't happen. A lot has happened, I just can't remember most of it. I guess that means that I need to post more often.

Actually, no, strike that. I do post quite a bit. It just so happens to be on twitter-my new little toy. The fact that I can do it from my cell is extremely handy. Especially since I am still without a working computer.

The biggest thing that did happen that I can remember is that I went camping. Loved it. Had a total blast. I was reminded what fun was. I need that more often. A lot more often.

Anyway, I know this is short. Sorry. But I swear to you that I will post a lot more in June.

Take care,
Jeremy

Starting the year with a bang...



So, I would like to start by saying that I am in much better spirits since my last post. The holiday season was extremely stressful and I am glad that it's over. I'm better now.



Well, sort of. You see, the evening of New Year's Day, I was in a minor accident. As some of you know, I rely on the (spastic) metro system. On the night in question, we had just pulled out of the transit center when some idiot decided to cut off the bus. The driver laid on the horn just before impact.

The way I was positioned, I was semi-curled up (as much as can be) and my eyes were closed (as I had just gotten off of work and was tired). So, when the impact happened, my body moved forward and slammed back-on my right side. My right shoulder received the brunt of the impact of me slamming back.

Back to the story. So, the driver of the bus handed out little cards to take our statements, before getting off the bus to see if anyone was hurt. I could hear the occupants of the car yelling at each other in some Asiatic language. I know it wasn't Chinese or Japanese; and none of them spoke any English. My guess is, ten to one, they don't have insurance, and most likely not a valid license, if one at all. They wanted to leave immediately (according to the bus driver), but it's a little hard to do that when there were so many witnesses.

I was a little shaken up that night, but didn't feel any pain. Until the next morning, that is. My entire back was extremely tense, and my right shoulder down to my elbow was a ball of flames. Thanks to a generous friend who gave me a massage, my back no longer hurts (although spasms regularly). My right shoulder and arm are taking longer to heal.

Anyway, that's about it for now. My birthday is next week, which I'm looking forward to.

Take care,
Jeremy

So long, 2008!

Or, better yet, piss off. I have not had a good year. I have not had a decent year. This year, in fact, sucked hard. And I am not alone in this. In fact, I can't think of a single person who did have a good year. Can you?

I don't feel like rehashing all the crap that's happened, so, if you feel so inclined, feel free to read my previous posts on here. I will, however, recap December; since I haven't had the opportunity to get on here until now. It began with my grandmother's funeral. Having family here was nice, especially for Thanksgiving, but it was hard as well.

Then came the weather, and the weather definitely came. Wind, rain, temperatures in the 20s, snow, snow, and, um, yeah, more snow. Washington doesn't see much of the white stuff in December, unless you go to the mountains. But down here at sea level saw at least a foot of it, even more so in most places. The upside is that we actually had a genuine, white Christmas this year. The downsides were slipping all over the place when it would convert to ice and idiot drivers not driving for the conditions, not to mention the cabin fever we all have been feeling.

Speaking of Christmas-was anyone actually prepared for it? I wasn't-though I didn't feel like celebrating anyway. Add to it the drastic weather and people were down each others' throats. You probably heard about the stampede at a Walmart on Black Friday. That should give you the state of mind of most consumers this year. Do people not realize that Christmas does come every year?

I know this post is not exactly happy and joyful. There is some stuff that I am quite grateful for. My friends and family who have rallied around us during this dark period. Especially those who keep checking up on me. Your efforts are greatly appreciated. And I am looking forward to next year, if only for the opportunity for a fresh start. I have already made my resolutions, and this time, they are actually quite reasonable. I'm even contemplating participating in a annual writer's contest next November. If I can. We'll see.

Anywho-here's to next year. I hope it's better than this year. It has to be. Right?

Five years later

Today marks the five year anniversary of Dad's death. So far, I am doing well, far better than what I was expecting to be. It hurts, but there are no tears, only memories. This, I know, is how he would have wanted it. This is how I wanted it to be.

I have changed much over the years. Life is much more fragile and short. Not in a doomsday kind of a way, but in a way where you appreciate every moment that you actually are alive. After you lose someone close, especially a parent, you are constantly aware that the life you live will make an impact, no matter how small, even after you're gone. And there will be far more people at your funeral than you would expect. Even people you haven't spoken to in years.

This blog will not be grim, for there is no need for it to be. The depression is gone, leaving only the good memories and the few remaining "could've been"s. The hardest part of moving on is letting go. Is finally forcing yourself to admit that they are not coming back; allowing this person to be dead in your mind. They have moved on, and eventually you will have to as well. This is both painful and liberating. And completely, entirely, necessary.

This year has been hard, but I'm not goining into that either. I don't want to, and I don't need to. Time has healed the wounds it has needed to, even as the memories remain. I knew this year would be hard, not in the extreme that it has been, but even that's okay. It allows me to put everything in perspective; and allows me to filter out just what I need and don't need in my life.

I'm not happy, but I'm used to not being happy. I've grown used to this emptiness. What I am happy for is that he no longer suffers. He is in a far better place than I am. For that, I am happy.

I need to leave now. I will be heading to the cemetery, then spend the rest of the evening at home. Tomorrow, hopefully, I will visit my grandmother. After that, I will go to work. Essentially, I will keep on living. I wish you all good luck and good health.

Take care of yourselves,
Jeremy

No, I'm not married. Thanks for calling.

I got home tonight, and as I do every night, I asked my grandfather if I had any phone calls. I ask him this because not everyone has my cell phone number, and others would rather call me at home to save me minutes on my cell.

Anyway, so he says "yes"; and then proceeds to tell me that a woman called to see if I was married. I kid you not. Just to make sure I heard him right, I asked him to repeat himself. He did.

He said that a woman asked if I was there and he informed her that I was at work (which I was). She then asked him if I was married. She didn't give her name or anything, so I haven't the foggiest clue who it was.

Now, this doesn't sound like a question that a telemarketer would ask. At least no telemarketers that I have talked to, anyway. And everyone who knows me knows that I don't even have a girlfriend. So, ever since then, this question has puzzled me: who called? And of all the questions to ask, why that one?

Now, mind you, I have nothing against marriage. I hope to be married someday and have a family of my own. It's something that I look forward to in life. But still...

Anyway, I just thought I would share that with you. If you happen to have any sort of a theory as to who might have called, I would love to hear it. I had a good New Year's, which I spent in Seattle after work. I ran into a couple old friends who I literally haven't seen in years. And a quick note, my 27th birthday is this coming Sunday.

Take care, dear readers, and I hope to post again soon.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in out lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They all agreed that it was.

The professor then picked us a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions. If everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter-your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else-the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the golf balls or the pebbles. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friendship."

(Courtesy of Harnish Lincoln Mercury auto dealership.)

I guess it's kind of fitting the fact that I'm posting a blog on life on Good Friday. I've been thinking about the subject a lot lately. Life can be very confusing at times, and this is definitely one of those times. It's not a roller coaster for me at the moment, but it is more of a struggle.

This probably is making zero sense at the moment and I don't blame you. I haven't been thinking too clearly lately (ask anyone) and I'm not sure if that will change in the near future. I have a full plate and daily it seems to gather more onto it. Life is becoming an overabundance of confusion-both good and bad. I literally wonder each morning when I wake up whether or not if it is going to be a good day or not.

I assure you that the only drug I am taking is caffeine and even that I'm not having as much as I usually do. No, the thing that is driving my life nuts is, well, life. Each day has the greatest potential to be the best day I've lived on this planet and very much the opposite as well. I am very much in love with someone who isn't too fond of my existence. Unrequited love is, I guess, the best way to describe it. And it's making my life a living yo-yo. Which is why I am so turbulent at the moment. Not hostile, mind you, just turbulent.

Anyway, back on the subject of life, I have come to the realization that it all boils down to how you treat your fellow human being. Those who live their life always on the attack are wasting what precious time they have here; and those who spend it showing kindness are spending it wisely. This actually is in reference to a relationship that is not my own, but someone close to me who will go unnamed.

Those who live their life with an eternal chip on their shoulder will never do anything about it because that would require changing who they are. These kind of people are generally easy to spot because they are always trying to pick fights with everyone around them. If you are fortunate, you are able to just avoid them and move on with your life. If you are truly unfortunate, you wind up marrying this person only to realize what kind of a person they really are. Again, I am not naming names.

There honestly is nothing wrong with serving your fellow human being. We are all of the same species, so why not make life easier for one another while we are here. In fact, I find that it is those who spend their lives competely selfless to be the ones who are living it the most. I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of your own needs, I'm just saying that it is always better to live life for someone other than yourself. If more people did just one total random act of kindness, every single day that they live, they will have no regrets when they die.

Anyway, so there you have it. You can either take it or leave it. It's entirely up to you. I hope you guys all have a good Easter and I hope to post again real soon.