Seattle International Film Festival

Way back in '02 I heard about the Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF) and have wanted to go. Things like work and such got in the way of attending each year, but I am definitely going this year.
Opening night for the festival is Thursday, which is when I plan on attending. It lasts from May 22nd to June 15th. And for a film buff like myself, it's going to be truly amazing. I'm completely stoked.
For the link to the festival, it's: www.siff.net and it's updated for this year's festival. And yes, I do plan on taking my digital camera with me.

Sorry for another short post, but I have to run to work.

Take care,
Jeremy

Back from Texas

I'm just letting you know that I am back from Texas and I had a blast while I was down there. So much so that I am seriously planning on moving there. I'll tell you more when I have more time.

I know I said that I wouldn't post until after I got back from vacation, but this is far too important. When I visited my grandmother last Sunday, it was obvious how much she has taken a turn for the worse.

She's not eating, doesn't recognize anyone other than her husband, and literally spends all day sleeping. I have never seen her this frail in my entire life. Definitely even more so than when she was in the hospital in February.

Even though the doctors haven't confirmed it, it's obvious that she's not going to make it until May. This means that even though I'm still going to Texas (believe me, the tickets are nonrefundable), doesn't mean that my heart and mind aren't going to be here. I'm just scared that I'm going to be over there when we "the " call. I don't want that. I want to be here when it happens. I want to be with her when she passes on.

If you pray, pray for us. I need a friend right now.

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

That's right, I'm going to Texas. I try to have one vacation every year and this year it's going to be in San Antonio, Texas. My sister is turning thirty and I'm going to fly out to celebrate. I fly out April 29th and I get back May 3rd.

Now, I've never been to Texas. Obviously it's going to be hot, but my sister informed me that it most likely will also be on the humid side. I seriously doubt it will be as bad as Wisconsin or when she was in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and I know it won't be as bad as Florida. Florida's humidity was absolutely horrid.

She also informed me that they are prone to tornados. I've been watching the Weather Channel lately and they also have given tornado warnings. In a way, that's a good thing. I've always wanted to see a tornado and this may be my chance. I was also told about the black widows, rattlesnakes, and other "interesting" things I might encounter. Sounds like fun.

Anyway, I've been meaning to post more, but with my off-the-wall work schedule and lack of a computer, it makes it more difficult. I will try harder-I swear.

Take care and I will post when I get back.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

First off, Happy Saint Patrick's Day. If you go out and celebrate, make sure there's a sober driver. After all, there's no point in celebrating if you're only going to wind up hurting yourself-or worse.

Second, time for some updates. I am now working at Poverty Bay Coffee Company, which is a whole lot closer to home. Even though I am currently a kitchen grunt, I have discovered I like being a kitchen grunt.

The interesting thing about my new job is that, not only am I the only male working there, but I am the first guy they've hired in two years. Let me tell you what an eye-opening experience it has turned out to be. What little I thought I knew about women barely even scratches the surface. It is by far the most intersting job that I have ever had.

Moving on to my grandmother. She is adjusting quite well to her new living arrangements. She's happy and the place she is at is really nice. Since I have been working my butt off, I haven't had much opportunity to visit her, but when I do, she's in good spirits.

Anyway, I will let you know more when I have more time.

Take care,
Jeremy

Good news!

I have a couple bits of good news. The first is that my grandmother is leaving Virginia Mason today and she is being moved to The Regency in Puyallup. It doesn't really come to anyone's surprise that she will never go home again. A sad fact, but that's the reality of life.

The second bit of good news is that I just had a job interview with Orion Marketing and they want me for a second interview. They deal mostly with the local sports teams.

Anyway, I have to run. I hope all is well.

Take care,
Jeremy

The Pain of Letting Go
Monday, February 25th, 2008

Softly you sleep
Where your dreams take you
I do not know
Perhaps to another day
Perhaps to another life
One less cruel than this.

The IV sustains you
Prolongs a long lived life
Keeping you in this realm
Preventing you from going
To your true home.

I miss you
Before you’re even gone
Your honest smile
Your voiced concerns
Your many stories
And untold memories

Your mind
This slides down the slope
To an empty void
Escalating speed with each passing day
With no hope of slowing down.

Goodbye, my grandmother
These collective tears are for you
These worried thoughts are of you
We all miss you
Before you are even gone.

My grandmother is in the hospital



It's been about a week since I've been online. The first reason is that my computer kicked the bucket finally, so I am only able to access the internet at the library.


The second reason is my grandmother. She has been in the hospital twice in the last week. The first time was for a very minor heart attack and she spent five long, restless hours in the ER at St. Francis. This was early Wednesday morning. She was completely restless the rest of the day.
Thursday evening she was incredibly weak. We had an extremely difficult time getting her into bed. I recommended that we let her get some sleep, hoping that that would take care of the problem. It didn't.


I woke up Friday morning and found the house empty and a note on the table saying she was back in the ER. When I arrived there, she was lifeless and in and out of consiousness; completely opposite from 48 hours earlier. I honestly thought we were going to loose her then and there. She spent most of the day there, barely there. We finally went home when they transfered her to Virginia Mason in the evening.

We were up there around eleven, Saturday morning. She was happy and animated and looking better than she had in literally years. We had a good long visit with her and the entire time we were there, she didn't fight with us or the staff at all. I thought, considering how things were going, that she would have been released today.

Sunday proved me wrong. When we got there, you could tell immediately that she hadn't had much sleep. The nurse said that she had fought with everyone and considering how frail she is, she was extremely strong. Twice she had successfully pulled out the IV. She had barely gotten any sleep and the nurses twice gave her a mild sedative that had no effect on her whatsoever. They also discovered that she has been pocketing her medications in her cheeks so it appears that she's taking them when she is actually not. We didn't stay as long as the day before, because we are barely sleeping, as well. The entire time we were there she was completely aggitated and we had to keep giving her Kleenexes to rip apart so she didn't rip out her IV. While she recognized everyone the day before, she now barely recognizes her own husband.

So, we are taking this day by day. It looks like she will be remaining in Virginia Mason at least through tomorrow. Admittedly, I'm barely hanging on. It's so hard to remain strong for everyone else when you're feeling weak and powerless. Most of the time I feel like I'm losing my own mind.

Anyway, that's what's going on in my life. Sorry this is such a downer post, but that's life right now. I hope to post again soon; hopefully with better news. Before I go, I would just like to mention that should you ever go to Virginia Mason, bring your own aspirin. Of all the places you would think to carry it; they don't. Go figure.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I open this blog with a question: How valuable is a memory? There are parts of my life that I wish I did not recall, but I am able to recall them nonetheless. Then there are parts of my life that I hope I will never forget and cherish those memories. Times when life was well spent.

My grandmother is in the advanced stages of dementia. Alzheimer's is one branch of the dementia tree; just to give you an idea. Reality to her is like walking through a forest in the fog. Every now and then you see a tree, but you have no bearings as to where you are going. She still has memories of life long ago, and often gets them mixed up with her life today. For example, she will ask when my grandfather is going to work when he has been retired for some time. She will just ask in the middle of the day when he will be going home and he will explain to her that he is home.

You read that she was hospitalized last week with dehydration and a severe urinary tract infection. The dementia is most likely the cause of this. The consulting nurse that I met today explained that to me. She said that while our minds tell us that we are thirsty and we automatically get a drink of water; her mind receives the message that her body needs water and the message gets lost in the cobwebs. Same with the infection. She literally forgot she needed to use the bathroom.

I used the title of the movie for the title for this post for a reason. If you have seen the movie, you watched as the main character slowly lost the memory of the woman he loved. He made this decision voluntarily, but as the movie went on, he clung to the fast fading memory. This is similar to what is going on in her mind, only at a faster pace.

How valuable is a memory? Because you never know when it will be gone forever.

Home from the hospital

My grandmother is home from the hospital now. She's on a new antibiotic for the urinary tract infection and seems to be doing a lot better. She's more active, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. One thing that we will continue to struggle with is it keep her hydrated. She refuses to drink water, even when it means taking her pills. In fact, that may be the reason why she doesn't like to drink water.

I'm grateful for those who had us in your hearts and prayers. You're kind words were not lost; even if I was a bit out of it at the time and might not have acknowledged you. I admit that I haven't been as responsive to others as I should have. I am letting you know that I do appreciate you. Thank you.

If anything happens, good or bad, I will let you all know immediately. Or, you know, whenever I have the first chance to notify people.

Take care and I will post again soon.

My grandmother is in the hospital

Today has been a very long day for me. I'm surviving on about four hours of sleep. And yet, I can't shut my brain off.

Yes, you read that right, my grandmother is in the hospital. It began about 4:30 this morning when my grandfather woke me to get my aunt's phone number. My grandmother could not stand. At all.

We waited for my aunt (who lives in Tacoma) while trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with her. She's not exactly a spring chicken. In fact, she's 85. She passed spring chicken a few decades ago.

So, my aunt gets here and we successfully move her from her bed to the couch so we could try to get some food, water, and pills in her. She went from semiconscious to completely unresponsive very quickly. All we were able to get in her was a couple bites of toast and a few sips of the coffee that I made. We didn't like the direction this took, so we got an ambulance. They literally arrived a minute later (I kid you not) and checked her vitals. They immediately diagnosed her with being severely dehydrated. They then rush her off to the hospital with us right behind them.

We were in the waiting room for five minutes before they told us where they put her. This hurry up-and-wait scenario would be the theme of the day. Especially the waiting part.

So anyway, she was in an emergency room for the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon while they ran a barrage of tests; including an x-ray, a CAT scan, and blood work. The diagnosis was that she had a urinary tract infection to go with her dehydration. Kind of a one-two punch that knocked her flat. Thankfully, the nurses in the ER were extremely attentive and made sure she was comfortable throughout it all.

That changed when she got a room. They decided to keep her overnight to observe her and to pump antibiotics into her throughout the night. The nurses here were, well, lax. That is other than one who looked like she was sick and tired of the others. We had made a comment when we first got the room that the catheter wasn't working out, but that wasn't removed until not long before we had to leave for the night and at one point it took them almost an hour just to get her a bedpan.

They are going to release her sometime tomorrow. It's supposed to be in the morning, but we'll see. I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, but I'm a bit rummy right now. Take care and I hope to post again on a lighter note.

No, I'm not married. Thanks for calling.

I got home tonight, and as I do every night, I asked my grandfather if I had any phone calls. I ask him this because not everyone has my cell phone number, and others would rather call me at home to save me minutes on my cell.

Anyway, so he says "yes"; and then proceeds to tell me that a woman called to see if I was married. I kid you not. Just to make sure I heard him right, I asked him to repeat himself. He did.

He said that a woman asked if I was there and he informed her that I was at work (which I was). She then asked him if I was married. She didn't give her name or anything, so I haven't the foggiest clue who it was.

Now, this doesn't sound like a question that a telemarketer would ask. At least no telemarketers that I have talked to, anyway. And everyone who knows me knows that I don't even have a girlfriend. So, ever since then, this question has puzzled me: who called? And of all the questions to ask, why that one?

Now, mind you, I have nothing against marriage. I hope to be married someday and have a family of my own. It's something that I look forward to in life. But still...

Anyway, I just thought I would share that with you. If you happen to have any sort of a theory as to who might have called, I would love to hear it. I had a good New Year's, which I spent in Seattle after work. I ran into a couple old friends who I literally haven't seen in years. And a quick note, my 27th birthday is this coming Sunday.

Take care, dear readers, and I hope to post again soon.

New Year's Resolutions

I have been racking my brain, trying to best describe 2007. It wasn't a bad year, because there were times this year that I was the happiest I have ever been. It wasn't a good year, either. I guess the best way to describe it would be that 2007 was a difficult year. I would even goes as far as to say that it came in like a lamb and it will most likely end like a lion.

So, instead of talking about the year that is quickly coming to a close, I am going to take this time to make my New Year's Resolutions.

First off, while I drink plenty of water, I still don't get my full eight cups of water. So, for the 366 days that make up 2008, I am going to consume three full venti sized cups of water. Each venti size is 24 ounces, or three cups.

Second, I am going to actively look for a steady job and have one. One that will actually pay me for what I'm worth and have a stable enough to where I'm not feast or famine. One that I could turn into a career and would want to.

Third, I am going to be a lot more tidier. Right now, time is stretched thin, and it's bugging me that I don't have as much time to clean as I need. Also, I'm going to manage my time better, so I'm not just spending my entire days off cleaning.

And finally the fourth one. For my fourth resolution, I am going to take life one day at a time. One hard lesson this year has taught me well is just how quickly life can change from one day to the next. I know not what tomorrow will bring, but I shall worry about it tomorrow. For today, I need to deal with today.

Since we're still on the topic of New Year's, I would like to add just one more thing. I work both New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Luckily, I get off in plenty of time to actually enjoy the night and I don't work until the following afternoon. So far, I have no plans.

Merry Christmas!

I would just like to wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Man, this year flew by, didn't it?

Take care,
Jeremy

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in out lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They all agreed that it was.

The professor then picked us a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions. If everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter-your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else-the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the golf balls or the pebbles. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friendship."

(Courtesy of Harnish Lincoln Mercury auto dealership.)

This is my December

2007 has not been a normal year for me, in any stretch; and the weather so far this month has mirrored that perfectly. On the first day, there was snow and lots of it. Too bad it didn't stick and by the end of the evening, it gave way to the torrential rains that you probably have heard about. Then came the wind, and they coupled to create quite the monsoon that lasted for most of the week. Then came the blessed sun and one can only hope and pray that it sticks around long enough for the state to dry out.

But I'm not here to talk about the weather. As odd as it has been, I have absolutely no control over it. I can only endure, and hope for the best. It's just one more storm in my life. Quite literally.

No, I am here to talk about the Christmas season. Ever since my Dad passed away, the holidays have lost their touch; there's been no magic to them at all. I have only meandered through them, putting on a happy face while feeling nothing inside. The lone exception was last year. Last year I got a spark back. There was a twinkle in my eye again. I was able to actually get back into the spirit of Christmas.

Why? For one very, very good reason. Someone came back into my life. Someone who I hadn't seen or spoken to since high school. She came back into my life and we were hanging out together. There's this little bar that we used to go to all the time and just hang out and have fun. Mind you, we would only drink water, but there was karaoke, which is a blast. I'm not normally someone who would participate, but she gave me the confidence I needed to get up there and sing my heart out. It helps that she thinks I sing well.

That someone is still in my life. This is one of the few reasons, despite it all, I'm actually once again looking forward to Christmas. By despite it all, I have a few major things that are getting in my way.

Number one, is money. I had a very large bill almost wipe out my last paycheck and I won't have another paycheck until the middle of the month. This brings about the second problem: time. My work schedule is all over the map, which makes not only shopping a bit of a problem, but also slims down drastically any chance I have to spend time with those that I care about. The third is just how unpredictable my life is right now. Obviously, this has much to do with the previous two.

The best solution I have come up with is that I throughly plan on doing all my Christmas shopping done on one day. I've done it in the past, so I know that it's possible. I just have to make sure that it's early enough in the month so I can send off a certain package to Texas, but late enough so I actually have money so I can go shopping. This alone would alleviate much of the stress that I'm feeling right now. After all, if I do all my shopping on one day, this frees up my time as well. Although I would like to point out that I have actually started some of my Christmas shopping. So, technically speaking, I'm not doing it ALL on one day. But whatever.

Yes, I am going to make the most out of this Christmas season. Time is short, so I'm going to put my all into it. All that matters is that I am able to make someone very happy.

This will be a busy month for me, but I will post again before the new year. By the way, I would like to point out that my next post will be my 100th.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Alright, yes, I do realize that by the time you have read this, it will be over. You will probably be home from fighting off the hordes of people trying to by stuff for their loved ones I sincerely hope you had a great Thanksgiving. I know for a fact that I did. It was honestly one of the best Thanksgivings I have ever had.


Thanksgiving day started out the way all holidays start out-behind schedule. I woke up early enough, sure, but still managed to get behind. I skipped breakfast (for a good reason), got ready early enough, and yet, still ran behind.


On an errand for my grandfather, I met my sister at a local grocery store. From there, we went to where my best friend works and we were fortunate enough that we got there before they closed. When we arrived, she literally met us outside; even though another rush was about to begin. Even though she was busy, we spent a little time together and she was able to walk us out.

After that, we headed back down south to the grandparents (on my Dad's side) house for Thanksgiving dinner #1. There was a lot of laughter and fun and a lot of food. Also, there were lots of pictures. It's rare that my sister is able to come out to visit, so we definitely made the most out of it. I was even able to get a (sort of) four generation photo. I say sort of because instead my mother being in the photo (she spent it in Bellingham), it's my aunt.

After that, we (my sister, niece, and I) went over to our other grandparents. I don't see them very often and on my Mom's side there are a ton of people. Luckily, everyone made it there, which is a feat in and of itself. It seems like everyones lives have become so busy over the past few years that even holidays there's quite a few people missing. And like I said, that side of the family has a great number of people, so it's not too surprising.

My niece slept the entire way from one set of grandparents (actually, great grandparents to her) to the other and through about half the evening. This gave us the pre-dinner conversations and most of dinner in relative peace. Don't get me wrong. I love my niece. I really do. Ask anyone. But she's definitely at the age where she can be a total handful. She's doing a fine job of running me into the ground. When she did wake up, she was rather cranky before she totally woke up; which was when she became the life of the party. Such is the life of an almost two year old.

As the evening went on, I reconnected with family members that I rarely see and updated those I see a bit more frequent. This was definitly one of the largest Thankgivings I can remember. It felt good to see so many loved ones that I don't have a lot of chance of seeing. It felt like one giant family again.

Anyway, that was my Thanksgiving in a nutshell. I would love for you to share with me your Thanksgiving experiences; as well as your Black Friday experiences as well. It was seriously the slowest Black Friday that I have worked. There were times when I was literally looking for something to do.

Anyway, it's after two am and bed is beckoning me. Take care and I'll talk to you soon.

Guess who's coming for dinner?

My sister, that's who! And she will be here for an entire week!

Okay, for those of you out there who don't follow my blog all that often-I have an older sister who very much lives out of state. In fact, she just moved from one state to another very recently, but is still no closer to home. She is happily married and has a daughter who will be two in the beginning of next month. Man, time flies.

Anyway, I'm lucky if I get to see her once a year and this year it will be twice! I spent my week vacation at the end of June at her (well, now old) place and now she will be spending a week here. She will be staying with a friend and she will be bringing my niece along with her. Her husband will be spending Thankgiving with his family.

She will be flying in tomorrow (okay, technically today) afternoon and I will be meeting her at the airport with our grandparents. After that, I'm not sure what will happen; but my coworkers are really anxious to meet her. Hopefully we will spend a lot of time together this week; but whenever she's out here, she's busy visiting everyone she rarely sees. I know for a fact that she will be spending Thankgiving dinner with me and then we will go over to the grandparents on our Mom's side for dessert. At least, I think that's the plan. I'm not sure.

Anyway, I know I'll have a crazy week. I hope to post again on Thankgiving, but no promises. Take care and don't do anything I wouldn't do.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends"-John 15:13

I would like to dedicate this post to the men and women in the armed services. Whether they are in the mud and sand of Iraq or still in boot camp hardening themselves for battle; their sacrifice is why we are still free today. While we may go to the parades and the sales at the malls; they are out there living the struggle. They eat and breathe and die on foreign soil so that we here are free.

My Dad was in the Navy during the Vietnam War. Although he was stationed in Hawaii, he still had to deal with the war. He was on the crash crew and had to deal with some very hairy situations. I have a lot of family members who were in the military and for a while I was seriously thinking about joining. I still haven't given up the notion completely.

This is Veteran's Day. A day set aside so we may honor those who have served our country. We have this day to honor those who give their all. Who live each day with literal blood, sweat, and tears. Throughout my years of working with the public, I have met people with true stories of amazing courage. The stuff that would be a guaranteed box office hit. And all they say is that they were just doing their job.

So I have a request for you, dear readers. If you know a vet, thank a vet. Just this simple gesture is enough to brighten their day, maybe even their week. They may not immediately show how happy it makes them feel, but it does.

Anyways, that's all for me right now, dear readers. Take care and safe journeys.

Huh, interesting

I'm actuallykind of surprised that I got these answers:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com