Can't sleep

As you can tell by the time that I'm posting this, my insomnia is back in full force. I can't shut my mind off, no matter how hard I try. With the massive stress of a new job, I just can't unwind at night. My mind keeps going over past mistakes, both job related and otherwise. I hate it when this happens.

The last time this happened was last summer. I had just started college and work was being, how should I say, difficult. I had also just found out (which I think was what triggered it in the first place) that someone I had loved dearly had gotten married. Obviously not to me. It went on for literally months until my life (and job) started to calm down and an old friend from high school came back into my life.

What was the trigger this time? New job. At least, that's my best guess. Oh sure, I have some other massive stress related issues; but for me to suddenly start to loose sleep, it's got to be the new job. Then again, it might be something else altogether.

I know what I said earlier, about how much I love it there at Starbucks. What I don't believe I mentioned was how everything is on the go. From the time you start on to the time you clock out, you are constantly moving. On top of it all, I have caught several coworkers talking about me behind my back. I know I'm the new guy, but could you at least wait until I'm not there to talk about me.

So I have the big pressure of learning everything and failing miserably on somethings hanging over my head; on top of home issues that I'm not going to get into; and on top of it all, the one person who I would love to tell about all this, the very person who I used to be able to tell anything to and talk for hours about everthing and anything, I no longer can. I miss this person deeply and there seems to be nothing I can do to bring this person back.

Thus, I go without sleep-again. I get to have my nerves frayed-again. I am going out of my mind and there is nothing I can do about it.